Love, g14

Happy Birthday to Matthew! This year he celebrates the beginning of a new decade in his life! The festivities began with a trip to NY for the Comic Con this past weekend and will continue for a full week. Much like a religious ceremony, we celebrate the birth of Matthew over a series of 7 days (on the 7th, we mostly rest). Today marks his actual birth, and the middle of the festivities. It’s like a marathon, not…

Aw, jeez. I’m through writing this. It doesn’t even make sense to me. I was trying to make it work, but I feel like I let you all down. I’m done. Over.

(Happy Birthday, Matthew! May your cake be moist!)

Kona Gallagher’s life, in large part, traces the same trajectory as my sketches because, well, she lived about 80% of them. This week’s episode, “Truthful Detective” is pulled almost verbatim from her life as she is a survivor of an attempted mugging and had a similar conversation with a detective who was driving her home. I think every first line I say in the piece was an actual quote that she relayed to me. I filled in the rest like my favorite inker Banky Edwards – adding mood and drama. The dumpster beat was all mine… that I pretty much altered from a classic Dead Baby joke.

The point is this; never let Kona suggest something to you. Because, yes, it will be brilliant and you will not be able to help yourself from not using it… but she will forever be in your life reminding you that she thought of it. Avril? She first pointed out and showed me the US Weekly article from which it was based. Between Guys… an almost verbatim conversation between her and I upon her revelation that there was rumored romance between The Rock and Stifler (in fact, the first line in the piece comes totally from me being genuinely interested in a sex tape starring Mr Scott and Mr Johnson). And now Detective has laid my folly bare… I listen to Kona far too often.

To be honest, though, beyond inspiration, Kona has given rather sage like notes on many of my scripts – even the ones she was not the basis of – and I have benefited from it quite a bit. In addition, I cannot forget to mention Charles Ochs, who has certainly influenced my writing and creativity a great deal. Matthew Balthrop, the one person I can actually write WITH in the same room (though its been awhile, buddy). Matthew’s thumbs up on any of my scripts is one of the only benchmarks for a piece being ‘done’ that I have. And of course, Laura Esti Miller’s place in heaven is reserved for not only the tremendous amount of advice, comments, ideas, and knowledge that she brings to all of my scripts, but also because she deals with the moody, pacing, anxious, bag of nerves that has to crap each one of these nuggets of gold out.

But back to the person forcing me to write this. The thing I hate about Kona is that she is skilled writer herself (check out her TV news/recaps at www.cinemablend.com/television) yet she refuses to write scripts. Claming ignorance only gets you so far, Gallagher. Get off your duff and turn your ideas and life into comedy script gold or else stop asking for credit from those with the brains and the balls to do it for you (Hint… ME!). So, until you write a script, I expect no more comments about how much I owe you and I consider the matter closed.

Compelled in NY,
David C. White

A quick note/legend before I move forward any further on how I’m going to define things for this post:

-New Media = Online video, ongoing original content produced by those who aren’t considered professional, i.e. have deals with major studios (this knocks the Ask a Ninja folks out of the running, based on their current deal to direct a remake of … Attack of the Killer Tomatoes … sigh. Really?). I include any original content produced by amateurs and hell, even by “prosumers” in the New Media category.

-Traditional Media = Movies, TV, commercials, or web videos that were movies, tv, or commercials. This is content produced with studio support. I’m F***ing Matt Damon isn’t new media, it just got popular via the online space. Tragically, I have to include The Lonely Island guys (SNL Digital Shorts) in here too, because Lorne Michaels is funding all of their fun stuff now.

So, is New Media already dead? Well, it depends on who you are and your expectations. It’s either dead, or we’re just getting started, in my opinion. If you recognize that the online space is a new haven for content, and that as we move forward, more and more original quality entertainment will be produced strictly for the online space - then yes, we have a pulse. It’s growing inside the cocoon of the internet. If you think that as a creator, you can simply jump in and start monetizing your content, that you’re going to become a celebrity or a “rock star” and be fabulously wealthy or even be able to make a living off of your New Media - close the casket. It’s dead. The first window has passed, because the online world moves astoundingly quickly, there wasn’t much money to be made, and you missed it.

Now, that’s a bit of a blanket statement. But the important take away from that is that as a content creator, you have to manage your expectations and shift your thinking in a very extreme way. I see a lot of creators approach the New Media space like they would Traditional Media - the only difference is that they do this AFTER they’ve produced their content. Which isn’t really all that different than your typical indie filmmaker nowadays. But there are a lot of creators that talk a great game about how different the New Media space is from Traditional Media, and then once they get a little popularity behind them, they hire an agent, try to make studio deals, etc. etc. The very first thing they do is apply Traditional Media thinking to their New Media product and nothing comes of it. They make that deal, and they’re directing…an Attack of the Killer Tomatoes remake. If that’s the pinnacle so far of what New Media creators can accomplish (or the cover of Wired, or a tiny spot on CSI) then I’m not entirely sure I’m sad about New Media being dead.

What I really feel though, is that New Media is only just starting. Yes, the space is already flooded with content - yes, it’s incredibly hard just to get an audience for your work - yes, you’re most likely not going to make money for it. Again, this is just like the Traditional Media space. This is where the quality of the work separates the big audiences from the small audiences. But we’re also starting to see folks being smart about it and making it work for them. People who are thinking differently about how to distribute content, how to monetize content, and how to build audiences that will support you and your content long after Hollywood would have spit you out, had they even given you a shot at all.

You want to keep New Media alive? Walk the walk and figure out how to succeed and tell your story in a way that you don’t need investors, or studios, or the Traditional Media trappings. Or, just figure out a different distribution pathway that works for you and your definition of success. Be smarter than Traditional Media, celebrate and embrace the differences. It’s a whole new world for creators. Make your own success.

Matthew

We at g14 are celebrating a very special day today. One of our own rejoices in the continued turning of the clock that marks another year on this earth. By this I mean, our very own Kelli Audibert Balthrop is having a birthday RIGHT NOW! And lets just say… its a big one.

So, don’t be stingy with comments, people! Tell Kelli how much you love her!

Kelli, g14 loves you and hopes you have a really amazing day! May your cup runneth over with some much hearty grog!

So, it’s a balancing act. Because I really don’t want the comments to drop off on the videos, but I would love for them to stay on topic about the videos. Which may let other new people feel more comfortable coming in and leaving comments.

There’s also the idea that a lot of our audience actually exists outside of the general online audience. Meaning, they aren’t the type of folks that jump on and comment on a web video. In looking at your own online habits, how many other online non-viral videos do you watch per day? Per week? And how often do you actually leave comments for them? For myself, it is a very rare occurrence, and my job is in the Web 2.0/New Media space.

Which is fine, obviously all we really care about is people watching and enjoying the videos. However, in lieu of a live audience or Nielsen ratings, we rely on comments to see that there are indeed people outside of our friends who watch these things. Right now, I rarely see that. Which, again, is fine because we’re really only making these for fun. If we were trying to justify Insert Show Here as something for a sponsor to get behind, something for us to make money off of, then I would be worried, because in the New Media business space comments often reflect popularity and loyalty. And while there is obviously some fierce loyalty being reflected here, there’s not enough volume, variety, and diversity in the comments and the audience to make us commercially viable. Again, for Insert Show Here, this isn’t really important, but when we launch the new show, it will be critical.

So, those are my thoughts right now. I’m all for Ryan’s idea of sending the word out about the show, whether we give you a hat or not. I think that ISH spreads well via word of mouth, but I would love to actually see evidence of that in our comments section for each video. We don’t do this for money, we don’t even do it for praise. We do it for ourselves, and for our friends, and for that larger group of friends that we haven’t met yet. Don’t worry, we’ll always love you all best though.

Matthew

Happy birthday, Joey! Love, g14

Here’s the vital stats for those who are into height and weight and stuff like that:

BORN: 1:01 pm today
WEIGHS: 9 lbs. exactly
HEIGHT: 21 inches
ROCKS: Fuck yes.

You can check out more details as they post them at their website as they post them.

Welcome to the world Benjamin. Prepare to rock the vlog’s socks off.

Love, g14